The ABC's of Sherlock Holmes
by Cumberbatch Critter
Summary: Chapter Two: John finds Sherlock's poem and decides to write one of his own, with much less eloquent results. Set in rhyming ABC format, such as A is for Apple, B is for Biscuit, etc, in a Sherlockian-verse.
1. The ABCs of Sherlock

**The ABC's of Sherlock Holmes**

**Chapter One: The ABC's of Sherlock**

"Your poetry is atrocious, John."

John glanced up. "What? Wait- Is that _my_ laptop?"

"Obviously."

John stood, crossing the room in a few steps. "Can't you use _your_ laptop for once?" he grumbled, whisking the laptop away from Sherlock. "Besides, if you hate my poetry, write your _own_."

Sherlock scoffed, leaning back in the chair. "Why would I bother? I have no need."

"Then I guess we'll never know if my poetry is really atrocious or not."

"But it is."

"Well, if there's nothing to compare it against, we'll never know." John slid his laptop under the chair. "Now, I'm going to Tesco's. Don't log back onto my laptop and try to avoid blowing anything up. Okay?"

"Right, fine," Sherlock replied absently.

John rolled his eyes before grabbing his coat from the back of the chair. "Be back later."

Sherlock watched him leave, looking at the window for a moment. After John had crossed the street, Sherlock shoved the Daily Mail out of the way, grabbing a pencil and a sheet of paper.

_**A**__ is for __**Anderson**__, who causes brain cells to dissolve._  
_**B**__ is for __**Body**__, which means a murder to resolve!_  
_**C**__ is for __**Crime**__, which could mean fun for me._  
_**D**__ is for __**Dull**__, as most crimes turn out to be._  
_**E**__ is for __**Eccentric**__, which is why Lestrade calls me in._  
_**F**__ is for __**Freak**__, only I ignore the faux-pas insulting din._  
_**G**__ is for __**Greg**__, although I just learned his name._  
_**H**__ is for __**Horror**__, which brings fun into the game!_  
_**I**__ is for __**Interpretation**__, which is needed on every case._  
_**J**__ is for __**John**__, my friend I can't replace._  
_**K**__ is for __**Killing**__; most murders aren't thought out._  
_**L**__ is for __**Landlady**__, Mrs. Hudson, we cannot do without._  
_**M**__ is for __**Milk**__, which is missing from its perch._  
_**N**__ is for __**Not **__a Psychopath; please do your research!_  
_**O**__ is for __**Observe**__, which people do not do!_  
_**P**__ is for __**Pathetic**__, which describes Anderson, too._  
_**Q**__ is for __**Quiet**__; must you think quite so loud?_  
_**R**__ is for __**Right**__; being correct does make me proud._  
_**S**__ is for __**Simple**__, make the case more bizarre._  
_**T**__ is for __**Think**__, please do raise the bar!_  
_**U**__ is for __**Unimportant**__, such as the orbit of the sun._  
_**V**__ is for __**Victim**__, but isn't everyone?_  
_**W**__ is for __**Wrong**__, just attempt to be precise!_  
_**X**__ is for __**X-Ray**__, scanning possessions can be nice._  
_**Y**__ is for __**Yawn**__, as life does tend to be boring._

Sherlock stared at the scrawled words for a moment. Poetry... How annoying. Why did he just write poetry? He didn't need to prove anything to John.

_**Z **__is for __**Zany**__... like this poem I'll be ignoring._

Sherlock sighed in distaste, pushing away from the desk. Zany, indeed. Childish poetry.

What a waste of time.

* * *

**I noticed this format in another fandom and I wanted to give it a try... If there are other stories like this in this fandom [probably], I have not read them because I don't want to have something else influencing mine. xD**

**More characters will do their ABC's as well! John will take up pen and paper in the next chapter. Your reviews are appreciated! Thank you!**


	2. The ABCs of John

John had found the poem that Sherlock had written. He'd been trying to straighten up some of the papers on the study desk when a small scrap of paper had floated to the floor. He had sighed and picked it up, noting the large 'x' crossing the page. He had squinted at the words and ended up laughing by the end of the poem.

Naturally, he hadn't let Sherlock know that he'd read it. He just kept it for himself and snickered at it for a bit longer.

Until, of course, John sat down to try and write his own poem set to the strange format that Sherlock had seemed to pick up.

And then he wasn't laughing anymore.

**_A _**_is for __**Afghanistan**__, which introduced me to the game.  
__**B**__ is for __**Bachelor**__, which is apparently my nickname._  
_**C**__ is for __**Crime**__ Scene, at which Sherlock and I lurk. __**  
D**__ is for __**Doctor**__, although I can't find much work.  
__**E**__ is for __**Exhausted**__, which I tend to be.  
__**F**__ is for __**Friends**__? Maybe Sherlock and me?  
__**G**__ is for __**Greg**__, a newly found friend.  
__**H**__ is for __**Harry**__, who does love me to no end.  
__**I**__ is for __**Idiot**__, which I seem to be.  
__**J**__ is for __**January**__, when Sherlock first met me.  
__**K**__ is for __**Kidnapped**__, why, Mycroft, why?  
__**L**__ is for __**Lonely**__; I'll never have a girlfriend, will I?  
__**M**__ is for __**Milk**__, which Sherlock claims I ought to have bought.  
__**N**__ is for __**Not**__ Good, which I tell Sherlock a lot.  
__**O**__ is for __**Obviously**__, which Sherlock says to me.  
__**P**__ is for __**Pointless**__, which is what my life used to be.  
__**Q**__ is for __**Quiet**__, which Sherlock can have down to a tee.  
__**R**__ is for __**Right**__, which Sherlock strives to be.  
__**S**__ is for __**Sherlock**__, because he's practically my whole life.  
__**T**__ is for __**Time**__ Saving Self Manned Check Out Lines, which... tend to cause much strife.  
__**U**__ is for __**Unimpressed**__; me when there's a head on the shelf.  
__**V**__ is for __**Voicemails**__, which Sherlock leaves, but he talks to himself.  
__**W**__ is for __**Women**__; which Sherlock doesn't like, it seems._

He paused in writing, trying to imagine a word that began with the letter 'x'. Besides x-ray and xylophone, he couldn't fathom anything.

"Hmm..." he mused, tapping the pencil against the desk.

Sherlock glanced across the room at him. "What?"

John looked back at him. "What's a word that begins with 'x'?"

"Xanthic," Sherlock replied, looking back to The Daily Mail.

John shrugged and went back to writing.

_**X**__ is for... __**Xanthic**__, although I don't know what that word means._  
_**Y**__ is for __**Yellow**__, like the smiley on the wall,_  
_**Z**__ is for... __**Zebra**__, which is the best animal of them all?_

"Yeah, why not? Zebras are nice," he muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing," John replied under his breath.

Maybe Sherlock was right. His poetry was atrocious, after all.

* * *

**THIS TYPE OF POETRY IS SO ANNOYING TO WRITE. GAH. **

**Anyway. John's much more laid back about the whole thing. And you can see just how important Sherlock is to him by the overabundance of the detective's name that shows up in his poem. And yes, some of their letter-word choices are the same. Some on purpose. **

**I'd like to write an ABC for Lestrade, at least. Maybe Molly. But... annoyingly difficult poetry. So, we'll see. Your reviews are appreciated! Thanks!**


End file.
